Divorce: The Seven Essential Steps to help you through Divorce

Tips & News - Divorce: The Seven Essential Steps to help you through the Divorce PROCESS

Small winding track leading through grass to a lighthouse

Divorce hits you hard whatever your circumstances. Like a tsunami, overwhelming waves of anxiety, grief and anger can come crashing down on you without warning. You are left feeling alone, rudderless and without a compass. Without a map, it feels almost impossible to navigate the divorce journey.

While no pill will “make it all go away”, we believe the key to an enhanced divorce experience is an understanding of seven fundamental steps set out in the acronym PROCESS.   These steps will help you to be calmer, less reactive and better equipped to strategise – all of which will help you to make better “divorce decisions”.

Over the coming weeks we will be sharing each of the seven steps to divorce recovery with you in more detail – but here they are in summary:

“P” is for “Prepare”

The more prepared you are, the better you will be able to cope with the many challenges of divorce – and the stronger and more empowered you will feel. We know that many people dislike doing their “divorce” homework – but like all major life events, the more time you put into preparing your strategy, the better the end result.

“R” is for “Record”

Keep a record of all financial and other relevant records. You’ll also need to take a record of all of your key discussions with your former partner e.g. about your financials and your parenting arrangements etc.

“O” is for “Objective”

Clarify and focus on your objectives and goals and act accordingly throughout your divorce journey. Try also to be as objective as you can be when preparing your communication and negotiation strategy.

“C” is for “Communication”

A pivotal part of a better divorce journey. Ask yourself, do you need to communicate with your former partner and if so follow the Golden Rule of communication and optimally the Five “F”’s of divorce communication.

“E” is for “Energy”

Unfortunately, divorce is a marathon – not a 100 metre sprint. You will need to understand how you can build – and sustain – your energy as well as use it appropriately over the long haul of divorce. Learning to self-soothe is crucial during your divorce journey.

“S” is for “Strategy”

Divorce is likely to be the most important negotiation of your life – both from a financial and from a parenting perspective. Would you go into another meeting to discuss whether you should receive $500,000 without a clear and considered strategy? We hope not!

“S” is also for “Support”

Too many people wait too long to embrace their support networks – sometimes until a crisis happens. But having a good support network may save you thousands in dollars and make the journey less arduous and scary.

Divorce is not something that anyone is experienced in unless they have been through it. If you don’t know what to do when going through divorce you are not alone. We hope that these series of blogs will point you in the right direction.

Stages of Marriage Separation and Divorce

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Collaborating together with Jacqueline helped us focus on the key priorities – our children

We wanted to separate amicably and not ruin our future relationship by fighting each other using lawyers - especially because we will be in each others lives frequently as we continue to work together & raise our kids. It's an awful situation that you just don't need to make worse.

Mother of three
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